You know the kind of room you aspire to, regardless of whether you’re a Console gamer, a handheld gamer or a PC gamer, if you’re a real gamer - you want the gear. You want the lifestyle that lets you enjoy your hobby to the final degree. Now, let’s pretend, just for a moment, that you’ve got loads of cash. Not an endless amount mind you, but say just enough to kit out your Gamer Cave with enough gear to make any famous YouTube Gamer jealous (or any millionaire for that matter). We’ve compiled a top ten Wallet Busters Gaming Gear list, just for you! Note: If you actually have the cash to splash on these exorbitant pieces of gaming gear and you get broken into, don’t come running to us.
10. Snacks: Berco’s Billion Dollar Popcorn: $100 for a Quart $1000 for 6.5 Gallons
For those wondering, a quart is almost a liter in metric and 6.5 gallons is twenty four liters. What says elegance like eating snacks that are quite literally covered in edible gold flakes. Berco’s website states of the popcorn; ‘Do you know who eats real gold? Kings, Queens, Tycoons, Fire Breathing Dragons, the guy who invented paper clips, and Unicorns, that’s who‘. Well look, if Unicorns and the guy who invented paper clips are doing it, then you should probably look into purchasing yourself some too. You’re now loaded after all. Act like it.
9. Microphone: Telefunken Elektroakustik ELA M 251 E: $8,995 USD
There’s no excuse not to sound like a beautiful god among men now. Not now that you’ve spent nine grand on this microphone. If you’re kicking up the dust in CS:GO, what better way to rub salt into the wound than to sound like an angel while telling the opposing team that they’re trash. The 251 has earned the moniker of “The most beautiful sounding microphone ever produced” which is no surprise since it was built to satisfy the German and Austrian’s requirements on their national broadcast systems. And we all know how hard core Germans are. With more features and components than you could shake a stick at and with stupidly crystal clear vibrant sound - you’re going to want to add this into your shopping list.
8. Coffee Machine: The Elegant Elektra Java Machine $18,200
Late nights spent hovering over point seven below mean you’re gonna need that godly java kick. So instead of going instant (how dare you, you peon), grab the Elektra. At only eighteen grand this thing is a steal, is reliable and is perfect for keeping at home. We actually passed up two more expensive coffee machines for this beauty - two reasons. The first (The Rancillo Classe 10) looked too “coffee shop” and not enough “loaded gamer” and the second, (the Javabot - $1 million USD) was essentially a coffee factory built into a cafe wall (no thanks). This was the most beautiful home option and so it’s your new option. Don’t drink coffee? Learn. Water is for peasants.
7. Gaming PC: Custom Builder “8Pack” Mad Science Experiment: $20,000 USD
This monster demoed at the Computex trade show in Taiwan and is the product of a UK based firm “Overclockers UK”. Their in-house builder “8 Pack” pulled together enough technology that this monstrosity is actually TWO fully functioning powerful PC’s. You’ve got a seventeen hundred dollar 10-Core processor, three GTX 980’s, 64GB of memory and 4TB of Solid-State. But, if that system is busy, oh you know - decoding the White House’s whole security system then your “back up” system which “only” utilises an overclocked i7-6700L overclocked to 4.8Ghz with 16Gb of RAM, you know - for Minesweeper or something.
6. Refrigerator Meneghini La Cambusa: $41,500 USD
I mean you could buy a car with forty grand, but really, why would you when you can get a fridge that belongs in a five-star restaurant. This bad boy not only stores a gazillion tons of food (okay maybe slightly less) and three thousand liters of Mountain Dew, but you can also customise - yes customise - your fridge with a microwave, coffee maker and pantry. Not to mention you can even customise its look completely. Yes. I mean, look at all that SPACE. And is that gold trim? My god, that’s gold trim. You’ll need this for point four.
5. Headphones: Sennheiser Orpheus: $50,000 USD (Approximately)
Because when Call of Duty loads up, you want to hear the sweet, sweet sound of tweens telling you they banged your sister after you get a huge kill streak. What better way to overdo it than the Sennheiser Orpheus. What would take you three of the worlds currently top priced headphones to even get close to the price bracket is the God tier of sound land. Sennheiser claimed it made “the best headphones in the world” with the Orpheus - and based on the specification sheet - they’d be dead right.
What does your Gamer Cave get for that ridiculously opulent figure? An ivory stand, six THOUSAND individual components placed into its assembly, gold vaporised ceramic electrodes, plush genuine leather cushions, electrostatic drivers, two stage power system featuring 8 quartz-glass vacuum tubes that pop up from the Orpheus’ marble base that kills structure sound when switched on. The headphone’s range is fabled to extend from 8Hz to 100kHz, which is universes beyond the human ear’s ability to actually recognise sound. We could go on, how about we stop before things get even more ridiculous (they do).
4. Live in Chef: In Australia, Melbourne: $60,000 AUD Per Annum (And you’re covering their rent)
Better put away some of that dosh for ongoing yearly expenses. Because, really, if you’re loaded do you expect to be eating like a peasant? Cooking your own meals? Hell to the no, you’re gonna hire a Private Live-In chef. These bad boys will churn out whatever you ask for whenever you ask for it as long as you’ve got the ingredients in the cupboard/fridge. Note; they don’t deliver the meals to your room. For that you’ll also have to hire a live-in maid/waitress. Extra expense may occur.
3. Racing Simulator: Hexatech Hexathrill Racing Simulator: $135,000
Note that we passed up the Formula 1 Full Size (Yes Full Size) racing simulator for $140,000 because the Cruden built Hexathrill was designed for private home use. Yes, a cool $135,000 for an in-home entertainment unit. That being said, you can request to have this baby encased in the chassis of a real car. It comes separate with a PC cabinet and an operator station that allows you to choose different tracks and monitor your race data. Seat belt sensors will actually tighten when you brake for better realism. Throw it in the corner and play Forza Horizon on it.
2. Office/Gaming Desk: The Bugatti Uber Desk: $240,000
Because any time that someone trash talks you online, the appropriate response should be “Let me cry my expensive tears into wads of hundred dollar notes” and then sending them a photo of your Bugatti inspired desk built by Luzzo Bespoke. I mean you could always go for the $65,000 version as well - but in reality, why would you? Inspired by the stunning Grand Prix cars of the 20’s and 30’s the desk is actually pretty damn nice for an over expensive piece of “Who the hell would buy this?“. Fun feature: Height adjustment built into the gears!
1. Chair: The Dragon’s Chair - Price $27.8 Million
My apartment smells of rich mahogany. I’m very important. People know me. That’s what this chair says to your paparazzi…. we mean guests, when you bring them round to take photos of your Gamer Cave and then shoo them out. Made in 1971 by Eileen Gray, the chair went on auction with an expectant sale price of two to three million. It obviously didn’t get that. Instead it fetched 27.8 million dollars. Brown leather, lacquered wood and heavy in Chinese iconography/symbolism, it doesn’t matter that you might struggle to pull this thing under your Bugatti Uber Desk - what matters is people see you sitting in it and are conveniently reminded, constantly, how much it costs. Unfortunately you’ll have to try and get it for that price from Yves Saint Laurent, founder of the fashion label with the same name.